Alarna's Blog.

Awake my soul.

talamo — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 05:36:12 +0000

Last exam tomorrow, freaking out slightly. Although, I have got good results in all of my SACs for media this year so I am hoping I can channel that and do okay :/ I really should be studying right now actually…

On the plus side, I found an awesome place in the city that Me and a couple of girlfriends could stay at instead of going to schoolies! It’s absolutely beautiful and wouldn’t actually cost that much for us! I just really want an opportunity to chill out after all of this stress and have a fun girly weekend I just figured that it would be pretty pointless going to a different state or overseas because we’re not likely to remember most of it haha

I miss my long hair a bit I knew that it would happen and I would regret cutting it.. but yeah. I miss it.

I’m also extremely bored. I haven’t really had the chance to go out or anything recently which has left me at home studying/ watching Vampire Diaries. Which, I am ashamed to admit, I have become ridiculously obsessed with. Two seasons in 10 days… dork! Hah. But I really enjoy it, plus both of the Salvatore brothers are sexayyyy so why would I not love it?

I am going to change my room around soon! YAY! I’m taking down some posters and stuff and getting a new doona cover and some curtains Then I’m going to paint on my wall and it’s going to be awesome! WOOOOP! Haha I don’t really know why I am writing all this crapola on here anyway but I’m not very good at keeping a diary and I think it’s funny to go back and read half of the crap that I have written about later on. Psychiatrists say that it’s good to get your thoughts out of your head and since I don’t have many bad ones at the moment, this is all the shit I’m going to be talking about for a while hah.

Until we meet again,

Peace and love.

Summer Paradise.

talamo — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 08:04:20 +0000

My teacher today told me about her blog and after reading some of her entries I was inspired to start up mine again. And so wordpress, we meet again!

My last few entries really make me laugh. I am actually quite surprised at how much I have changed since the start of this year. I am almost finished my year twelve exams and entire torturous experience of high school. I am excited and nervous to take the big leap in to the big world but I am surprisingly happy to finally feel like I am going somewhere.

Life has been fairly well lately, despite some minor emotional over-reactions. I am feeling quite optimistic about the four months of solitude that is just at my finger tips. I remember why I found it difficult to think of things to write about on here until I remind myself that there is probably no one reading it that I need to be concerned about anyway

I have one more stressful week next week, particularly with an audition for the Victorian College of the Arts Bachelor of Fine Arts course :/ It’s for a musical theatre major so it is a pretty exciting and scary prospect. However, I am not expecting a call back, let alone acceptance, due to the prestigious nature of the course but I thought it would be of good experience for future auditions or if I ever decide I want to re-audition after an Arts course elsewhere. BIG STRESS.

I also have my graduation for my VET Acting (for the screen) course which will officially be the last work-related task I will ever have to conduct for the dreaded school. After that it’s all Elton John and Schoolies (if we go) and Christmas and FREEDOM!

Beautiful, beautiful freedom. I can almost smell it.

Please hold judgement but I saw The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn yesterday and I must say, all expectations were met and more! I thought it was so fantastically directed and the acting was superb, from all of the cast. There were so many references to the first film which made me feel like I was a little preteen in year ten when the first installment of my favourite books had been released. I loved that feeling. So I can guarantee I will see that one again

I’m a bit obsessed with Tumblr at the moment so I apologize if my entries are not so frequent. Future is looking good so at this point it’s all thumbs up And I will probably delete some of my lame posts so this blog is not quite so cliched and angsty.

Until then, I bid all of the World Wide Web good luck in your pursuit of happiness.

Peace and love.

talamo — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 06:57:18 +0000

Also just noticed that like my last five posts are about the same thing and I apologise for that.

So here’s a list I prepared earlier, of homework that I have at the moment. This is mainly for my benefit… just saying.

Drama.

- Folio

- Read Acting Smart pages

-Ensemble stuff

Media.

- Study Tables

- Genre Tables

- ~~Intention/ entire idea for project~~

- Watch the crow again

- Notes from the design plans

- Character Notes

- Venn Diagrams

- Character Questions

English.

- ~~Law sheet~~

- ~~Notes on 12 Angry Men~~

- ~~3 paragraphs re; background info~~

- Powerpoint pairs thingy

- ~~Questions on 12 Angry Men~~

Literature.

- God damn read Silas Marner

- Character profiles

- Themes

- ~~Paragraph on Scene from A Simple Twist Of Fate~~

VET Acting.

- Journal Reflections

- Script for Finlay

- Arrange Book

- Critiques

Other stuff.

- Pay for Beekeeper excursion

- T-shirt money next Thursday

- Choir music and backing track

- ~~Biography~~

- ~~Student leader thingy~~

- Organize ensemble rehearsal

- Pay for flights

- Pay dad

I think that’s about it. fml.

The Used.

talamo — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 06:43:18 +0000

You know when like, someone who wouldn’t normally talk to you does and you’re so flattered by the general idea of them talking to you that you let them use you? Whatever it be for, you sort of don’t mind because it keeps them talking to you? I really hate that. It’s like, why couldn’t you just talk to me normally? Seriously, are you just THAT cool that you will only ever talk to me when you need something? It’s such a massive way to make someone’s self esteem plummet… or in my case reach -1 trillion.

On another note, I’m effing sick of being single. I mean I know, seeing me in a relationship is hard to imagine because for some reason people think I’m gross or something. And by some reason, I mean because I’m fat and dress like a boy. But I am desperately wanting to be with someone right now and just experience what everyone else my age gets to. Is that too much to ask?

For real, shit stinks at the moment.

talamo — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 12:05:52 +0000

I love you and you love her. She doesn’t deserve you but you really can’t seem to see it.

Wanna know something stupid? I cried about you this weekend. I thought about you subconsciously.

Ahhh what the fuck. I wish you could see that you’re too good for her.

But I guess you’re too good for me as well.

Depress, depress, depress

The norm.

talamo — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 12:34:42 +0000

I hate those days when you think that you might actually have a chance.

And then you remember that it would never happen.

… so pretty much every day of my life.

Out Of Reach.

talamo — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 11:54:39 +0000

I know I’ve posted already today but truth is, I’m feeling so lonely. And it’s like, maybe if I post on here, there might be one person who actually gives a crap. At the moment, I feel a little bit lost. Everytime one good thing happens to me, something worse happens to cancel it out. And I know that i’m being selfish considering the amount of people who have many more issues, but I’m a seventeen year old girl, I can’t help feeling sorry for myself.

I’m turning eighteen soon, and I really have nothing to show for it. I try really hard in school and I get involved in everything that I can but when it comes down to it, I haven’t had the teenage experience that everyone is meant to have. I’m not going to be able to look back at life when I’m forty and say, “Yeah I did some crazy things as a teenager” or have any memories of my first high school romance. I think my first kiss was in year seven and it was a peck that meant nothing. The only other few times I’ve most likely been drunk, sad as that is. I’m just so sick of being… well me. Like fucking hell, I’m a burden on myself! Sometimes I start to think that it’s because I have no respect for myself, but then when I am proud of something or think I’ve done well, I’m up myself. I just can’t win. And I’m so jealous of everyone around me coupling off and leaving me behind, it’s pretty much the biggest fear that I have. I don’t know if I’m just grumbling because it’s Valentines Day tomorrow and even though I don’t particularly believe in it, I will again be spending it alone with my sad music. FRICK. Sometimes I honestly wish that I could go anorexic and become completely different.

But then I feel guilty for thinking that.

all by myself.

talamo — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 02:16:01 +0000

Well, I really haven’t posted anything in a while so here is an update on what is happening. Firstly, year twelve is going pretty good. I am finding myself actually able to cope with everything except I am still trying to figure out whether or not I should take maths. I pretty much hate it and I don’t need it but then I only have four subjects. On top of that, I am starting to doubt what I want to do after school and where to go. Blergh.

Secondly, I cannot wait for people to start turning eighteen. Desperately need some fun in my life at the moment. Also trying to organise my eighteenth WOOOOO! So I’m hoping that this will be a good year.

Thirdly, still as lonely as ever. Hoping that someday soon my knight in shining armour will just randomly appear but am actually close to giving up on the idea.. at all. As I’m currently watching Bridget Jones I’m noticing all of the similarites that we have. Except that she gets to fuck both Hugh Grant and Colin Firth and still ends up happy. Shit I love that movie. In short terms, I am tired of all this waiting around and patronising looks from randoms because I’m such a loner, loser and complicated wreck haha. Ehh fuck I’m tired of it.

In other news… YUMMY.

10 things..

talamo — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 11:04:57 +0000

I decided to make a list of things that I desperately want to say to people but am too afraid to…

1. STOP PATRONISING ME!!!!

2. I’m glad we’re becoming friends again.

3. Please just ask me out?

4. I love you.. but you kind of smell.

5. Please just make me feel important again.

6. Sometimes I can’t tell when you’re joking.

7. Keep ignoring me, I don’t care.

8. You’re possibly the cutest person ever.

9. Okay, maybe still like you a teeny tiny bit.

10. You didn’t fucking deserve it, bitch.

Mmm…

talamo — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 08:26:45 +0000

So, I pretty much love her.